Relevant Magazine is an online mag for 20-30 somethings. Its September Issue has a number of good articles, one about sex and single Christians. In the article, Joanna Hyatt, the director of Reality Check, an organization that promotes relational health and sexual integrity, is quoted as saying, “Our culture wants to convince us that sex is really just about 2 bodies coming together for a great time, for an activity that has no more meaning than any other form of exercise. The reason more people pick sex then, say, tennis is it maybe a bit more exciting… yet if sex is really just physical, and not emotional, mental or spiritual, why are we seeing higher rates of depression among those who are sexually active? Sex is not just about 2 bodies coming together… sex is about an entire person — their past their insecurities, the expectations, their hopes, their mind, their soul — coming together with another complete person and becoming physically and emotionally vulnerable.” The article also refers to the scientific research being done on the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is a bonding agent that is released in the brain in abundant levels during sexual intercourse, creating a strong bond between 2 people. Within the confines of marriage, this is a wonderful thing. However this bond-forming outside of marriage creates problems. It makes it that much harder to have a successful marriage later.
Hyatt goes on to say that “Studies have shown if you have multiple physical relationships and then break up, you damage your ability to form a long-term commitment. You train your brain to only do short-term. Those people who are having sex outside of marriage, but still want to have a solid, successful married someday, are making it that much harder for themselves.”
God hasn’t told us to refrain from sex outside of marriage for no reason. He has made sex as a special bonding unit between husband and wife. After all, the sexual relationship and marriage reflects Christ’s love and desire for the church. We are to have no other gods before him, even as in marriage, we are to have one sexual partner. And that partner (male and female) is supposed to be virgin.